It’s not just another night.

Calm, and sound of raindrops.

It’s getting late. But before I sleep, with a lamp just beside my bed, I took a pen, flipped a page, and wrote some words for you.

Yeah, you. These words, now that I already know you.

I can still remember the day I was talking and writing to you as if you’re a person I’ve always known, I was also clueless of who you were back then at the same time. Until your soul suddenly came along, an orchestrated fate happened. You had me at one glance, I was awestruck, and if I could see through the building structures and heavenly skies above, I probably saw Jesus and your grandma smiling at us too. Sure it’s beautiful.

To You who made it all possible even if things happening in us weren’t right. To You who picked every shattered pieces and put it altogether up. To You who directed a wonderful scene without us knowing. To You who has been there all along even if we’re not close from being deserving. These words will never ever measure up to Your greatness, but really, God.. thank you.

I’m really grateful, thank you for being a blessing since the day we started talking, you’ve been, you are, and you always will. And it’s been a hundred days brighter. Yeah, today marks the 100th day of knowing you, and you’re getting more amazing. I am more captivated than ever. Not just in my sight, but more importantly, in His sight. Your soul is gold. Your heart is one precious jewel. Your eyes are sparkling as the night skies. And your smile, is more than a sunshine. Thank you for allowing yourself to be a vessel of His love, and you overflow it shamelessly. You speak of wisdom and encouragement naturally. You’re simply pure and honest. Your kindness is a pill of joy to my heart. And whenever you say bad or the not so good things about yourself, your stubbornness, your clumsiness, your weaknesses, your flaws, negatives and all, I can only smile in privilege of knowing you more, and feelings only get deeper in response. You even considered me as your best friend. You’re altogether lovely. Thank you, literally, for you. You’re my favorite song.

However, just like every story that has to go through some tough times, we’re not spared from being tested and being refined, then and only then it can be proved to be true and authentic. I am blessed that God allowed me to walk through this rough road with you. God has been speaking to my heart everyday, teaching me what and how does it really mean to love. And I’ll admittedly say that I am still in the process of learning how to embrace the difficult part of it. I remember you asked me if I ever felt that it’s hard to trust God, I answered yes. It’s always been hard to trust Him, but I do it anyway. I realized at the moment that never in my whole life He has failed to prove me that He is trustworthy. Then you asked me how far can I be patient and understanding. If I can really wait. If I can really trust God for this. You know that I’d always say yes. How can I say otherwise knowing how much God has been faithful? For that is His name. Words may have given our hearts the way towards one another, but I want you to know that you’re always free. I want you to focus and maximize your current season in life. I don’t want to limit you from spreading your wings and pursue the things that will make your heart and soul alive. I don’t want to hinder you from reaching your dreams and aspirations to make your loved ones proud. I want the best for you, because after all, since the day I got to know you, it started to become one of my heart’s biggest desire, and that’s for you to be happy. You mean a lot to me.

But these things will not stop me from pursuing you, because it all just made my heart more determined. I want to be there through your ups and downs. I always want to get your back whenever you fall. I’ll support and cheer you up. Yeah, I’m choosing to stay by your side. And I’d love to pray with you. I’ve also told you before that I want to keep you in my whole life. Well, this whole life runs and still goes on. So I’m already decided. I will still win your heart everyday.

You’re always in my thoughts. You’re treasured even from afar. I will stay foot and anchored on God’s unwavering hope and security inside me. I will obey Him while patiently waiting for His meticulously prepared time for the both of us. I totally understand that no matter how much I desire to be with you right now, it won’t make any change. But I believe in faith, that these seemingly small steps I’m currently taking will one day lead me to our crossroads. Even if faith, action and determination matters, it is only Him who will set all things right ahead of us. He will pave the way with glory from the ashes of our learnings in this life we’re currently living and momentarily savoring. So I am trusting Him, wholeheartedly.

Lastly, you’ve told me that you will wait for me too. So the message still goes.. please hold on and be patient enough. I will come, and find you again. When that time comes, I will immediately hold your hand. I will protect and lead you. We’ll walk together, side by side, and every step is a faith closer to Jesus.

…

And I want you to know that I love you, even more.

Yeah, it’s time to sleep. See you again, someday.

Goodnight.