Apparently I'm a Jack of All Trades now
Because Ken is literally throwing anything and everything at me in the JCC Lifeguard playbook. Today I was helping coach swim team.
Oh, update on the grades:
3.8125 GPA HOLLA AT YA GIRL
Yes, that is right. I am a friggin' grade GANGSTA. Pulled an A out of my ass for Major American Authors and got a 99 in Fiction. Also aced my French final with a 93, so there was no need to freak out there, like Angelique always said.
I feel like I deserve to treat myself, but I don't know to what. I guess RENT is a good enough treat, as well as the jaunt to Austin! :D
Actually talked with Mom about my feelings today. It was weird. I haven't been feeling passionate about anything recently. Like, I get up and go to work because I'm a shallow, material person who wants the money. I was helping my aunt out because I feel obligated to because I don't mind offering my services, not because I particularly enjoy hanging out with her. (Don't get me wrong, I enjoy her company, but I have learned far too much about her personal life recently to actively seek out time with her that reminds me of mentally scarring words/images I can't unsee.) I don't know how to act around Amalie and I can feel the spiteful side of me just wanting to turn into the biggest bitch...
I can't tell if I might really be depressed, from this stressful freshman year, or if I'm still grieving Grandpa, or what the fuck is going on. I have happy days, I have good moments, I laugh and function, but I don't know if there's something really wrong or if I'm just being paranoid and bored/tired/over-analyzing. It's really frustrating to have had your whole emotional world thrown upside down and into question. Thanks, best friend. Thanks a fucking lot.
*sigh* Emotions aside, I'm downloading the Bones finale because I can't wait until tomorrow/I might be working or doing something while it's airing and I don't want to chance it. Slash I can't wait. *bounces* 60% done.
Oh, update on the grades:
3.8125 GPA HOLLA AT YA GIRL
Yes, that is right. I am a friggin' grade GANGSTA. Pulled an A out of my ass for Major American Authors and got a 99 in Fiction. Also aced my French final with a 93, so there was no need to freak out there, like Angelique always said.
I feel like I deserve to treat myself, but I don't know to what. I guess RENT is a good enough treat, as well as the jaunt to Austin! :D
Actually talked with Mom about my feelings today. It was weird. I haven't been feeling passionate about anything recently. Like, I get up and go to work because I'm a shallow, material person who wants the money. I was helping my aunt out because I feel obligated to because I don't mind offering my services, not because I particularly enjoy hanging out with her. (Don't get me wrong, I enjoy her company, but I have learned far too much about her personal life recently to actively seek out time with her that reminds me of mentally scarring words/images I can't unsee.) I don't know how to act around Amalie and I can feel the spiteful side of me just wanting to turn into the biggest bitch...
I can't tell if I might really be depressed, from this stressful freshman year, or if I'm still grieving Grandpa, or what the fuck is going on. I have happy days, I have good moments, I laugh and function, but I don't know if there's something really wrong or if I'm just being paranoid and bored/tired/over-analyzing. It's really frustrating to have had your whole emotional world thrown upside down and into question. Thanks, best friend. Thanks a fucking lot.
*sigh* Emotions aside, I'm downloading the Bones finale because I can't wait until tomorrow/I might be working or doing something while it's airing and I don't want to chance it. Slash I can't wait. *bounces* 60% done.
