Fucking F chords fucking suck.

God damn my tiny hands. My tiny, weak hands. (Actually, mostly just my left one. WHY DO YOU FAIL ME, LEFTY. Although my right one doesn't know what the fuck a strumming pattern is, or how to hold a pick correctly, apparently.) I can't play the F chord. Which, for those of you who don't play guitar, let me explain: lots of chords (of the eight I know) are just holding down different strings in different locations, generally (read: as far as my knowledge goes, which isn't very far) between two and four strings/spots. An F chord involves using the index finger and pressing it against all of the strings simultaneously. While holding down three other strings. All at once. And remember, your thumb does not count. It lies useless behind the neck of the guitar, hiding from responsibility and guilt (because the other fingers are working so hard for the money). So all of your fingers are effectively being used at this point. 

The only saving grace I have from my repeated failed attempts at playing this chord even remotely like what it's supposed to sound like is that I have gained a reaching stretch thanks to the C chord (which tripped me up when I first first started playing, too). Did I mention the F chord stretches over three frets (the spaces on the guitar neck with the little bars = frets)? Yeah. It does. Motherfucker.

F is for fucking sucks. Several people have told me it's why they stopped trying to learn guitar. But Julie has the same size hands I do, and she can play it. She has been playing for years... but. I will do it, damn it. I am so determined because A) I don't want my mother to be right (in that this guitar is just another toy I'll get tired of playing with soon enough, and I've barely been playing 6 months), and B) I can hit it sporadically when I really, really try.

Stupid chord coming out clear and pretty every seventeen tries with a cramp in my hand from stretching and pressing so hard gives me a tiny ray of hope, and I just can't let go of it.

Also, I really like how excited Julie gets when I can play stuff. And I feel accomplished when I can pull out my guitar and play songs people know without sucking to high heaven. (Speaking of heaven, I'm rereading Good Omens so I can write ridiculous crack?AU Glee smut?fic oh God I'd so be going to hell if I wasn't halfway there already because I've nearly forgotten everything that happens.)

So, yeah. Not giving up on guitar. I want to be a rock star. Failing that, a decent guitarist(/bassist, in the future?) that Julie and/or Zach would call in to do backup vocals on their CD(s). Maybe. Someday. I can dream.

Anyway, what this mostly makes me want to do is bust out my brand spankin' new Guitar Hero 5 and kick ass with some new songs. Or go back to Guitar Hero 2 and beast the shit out of the hard and expert songs. But I am A) lazy, and don't want to spend time unpacking and putting everything back where it belongs just yet (even though it annoys me that things are not where they belong/are not tidy and clean*), and B) wary of setting off a chain of events that leaves me on a Guitar Hero kick and playing for hours on end when I should be doing hall work/homework/desk work etc. I get seriously into my GH when I start playing one of the games, hence why it is usually a Christmas gift so I have plenty of time to be an only child and play through on hard/expert for hours on end in one go.

Yeah, I'm one of those annoyingly good people who just sits and plays it all the time so I get really good. Although I'm not doing it so I'm an asshole, I just decided one day that I was tired of playing on Easy and Medium and taught myself how to get good at Hard and Expert and now I am. Not perfectly, though. Most guys who like the game could probably kick my ass, but I'd like to think I'd give them a run for their money.
 

Well, it's a little after midnight. I should probably shut down and get some sleep, because thanks to Lauren being an early riser, my sleep schedule got righted from the fucked-upness it was slipping into about a week ago into normal hours once more. Here's hoping I can keep it up and wake up at a reasonable hour tomorrow morning. I did tell Mindy I would go running with her, and to not let her give her an excuse for me to not join her. Starting slow with two miles.

I can do zis. [/Chekov] Okay. Goodnight.