jeezus i cant stop counting down the days or manipulating the time i have left to make it seem like SOOOO much less... lol

i had ayden at 37 w 5 days and he was perfect- lol more than perfect.. he was 10lbs 8 oz.. lol-- his size was actually WHY my dr took him so early... (i spose i should insert a picture here...)


but this one is measuring "perfectly".. ..

i spose thats a GOOD thing but im soooo impatient... ha

im sick of the pregnant thing.. we have MOSTLY everything we need for her.. im waiting on the boppy which i just bought.. we have the co-sleeper-- we have the diapers even though i still need about 10 more n some more covers.. my dad and shannon are buying the "travel system" i think on thursday( THANK GOD) - we even have the swing n a bouncy chair.. which were really just luxuries..

not to mention clothes.. we have a bunch- even tho id like to get her a going home outfit...

i havent bought ANY nursing stuff - lol - i spose its because since i didnt do it with ayden i just am in unfamiliar territory..
like with ayden it was hard to buy him anything.. and the only reason i got soooooo much stuff was because of my baby shower

( which im not having this time since no one is throwing me one-- THANKS MOM and your embarrassment of me!
lol and she wonders why i don't include her in this pregnancy like i did ayden.. HA--
she is embarrassed to be excited about this baby because she thinks/"knows" her side of the family will talk shit about my being pregnant.. shes ashamed that im not married to william.. shes ashamed that i have become a SAHM- which is the opposite from her-- shes ashamed that im not on WONDERFUL financial terms right now.. but hey its ok for her n her husband to live with her daughter and her daughters fiance because they cant make it financially by themselves-- LOLOLLOLOLO- can we say hypocrite!!?!/! ha - )

im sad that my family are so against this- and im sad that i dont have anyone really on my side through all this- but thats about it.. im JUST sad.. it doesnt mean that im regretful or im any less excited about this little girl.. im ecstatic in fact!

ill tell the story another day about what happened between the time ayden was born and .. well .. today.. and why there are so many issues.. lol..