maris_stella

I miss when this was popular. Ah the memories! So MUCH has changed and a lot has remained the same. Feels like I lived a different life back then. There are some things I miss, some things I don't miss, happy memories, and sad memories. All I can say at the moment is if I have my way there will be MANY more years and memories made in my future. 😻😺💀👽💖💞💋💜❤💝

Well nothing much to talk about...And venting is getting lame and boring. Time to shake things up a bit in my life! I miss having wild times and crazy fun! I do appreciate a quiet, stable life, but I do need a bit of "excitement"! I'll be the "big 4-0" in September, and that's one new decade I do NOT want to take for granted like the 20's and 30's. Life is a big learning experience, and I've learned a LOT along the way. I dont regret my life, because I've had a fun ride and plenty of ups, downs, near misses, and "glorious moments"! My ONLY sort of "regret" is not taking a lot of pictures in the past! So many things that would've made some memorable pictures and helped me remember things...Oh well, if I have my way about it there will be fun times ahead and the MINIMUM of any sad times! As for any "venting"? Why bother? I'll just take the "it's not my problem" view, let him be as he wants all stagnant and stuck, while I continue to do whatever the fuck I want...

Hello??? **looks around in the darkness** I guess most have abandoned this once "popular" place :( Myspace was fun while it lasted, not the current thing is Facebook. Sharing isnt as "mandatory" there as it is here! On this site youre writing your thought, not just posting cool pictures and a bunch of comment like conversations! This here "Livejournal" is bare bones no nonsense, unless some of us hold back just a fucking bit heheheh! Well it's a new year and timne for the usual hoping it's a good one! A year is what you make of it to the best of your ability! Just take care of what you need to, try to follow through on whatever goals and plans you have made, and things will be fine...Here's hoping there will be MANY more years to come, before our journals,facebook pages, and other online memorabilia become part of our "internet epitaph and gravestone"...

Yeah I ran off to Myspace, then Facebook, but this is the BEST place to go when I need to vent...

Maybe I say things wrong sometimes? Maybe I come off to some as confrontational? Maybe I'm wrong? But I still stand my ground and feel I'm right anyway...

Well instead of getting into the entire story I will come to the point...

Today I started mentioning 4th of July plans to a friend on the phone. So later on my mother-in-law decided to ask myslef and husband what our plans were for that day. I got a little upset because there are THREE kids in her family NOT just my husband, and its like she never asks them anything! My brother-in-law has his life, does his thing, and lives in the apartment across the hall--he's the oldest. My sister-in-law is 19 shes the youngest. She makes her plans and lives her life. My husband? He's the middle kid...Content to sit around and play his PC games with his online buddies using his Steam account. Ok no issue with any of this...

The issue why does his mother usually if not always come to us about things??? Like herdaughter csnt make time to bring her mom to the fireworks? Like she cant try to make plans with Ralph? I just hope that whenever we move she doesnt keep acting the same way! I'm not trying to be mean, not trying to be disrespectful, not trying to cause a fight or problems!

When I said something they both got attitudes...Interesting how he could get so riled up about that, but anything to do with our relationship barely gets that much energy! Even when we talk its jt silence and the "of course I love you" thing...Most couples make plans for their future, get excited about anniversaries, plan their holidays together, etc.

I keep thinking that we will never have the level of relationship where we are mutually spontaneuos, adventurous, romantic, fun loving, etc. Makes me just want to start crying, but I dont thing its worth my emotional input anymore. If he is just content to jump for everyone else, but barely put any energy into "us", maybe its time I shut my emotions down and plan for MY future. He is a very nice person, but lacks that spark...

If things between us dont work out, I am done with relationships. Things are fun in the beginning, but some stupid crap always has to mess things up! Illness, and harsh things in life I fully understand, but this drama I will no longer tolerate if anyone else is in my future. I dont want to be attached emotionally to anyone, I've had enough of being the one who always wants some "sexy time" only to hear the "I'm tired, you always want it, I want to sleep, lets just cuddle" routine. And I've been hearing that from more than one person over the years!

I will be 39 this year, and am not going to waste the rest of my years upset over anyones stupid crap! NOT in a relationship, NOT in friendships! Unless its one of the responsibilities of life, than I will have NO MORE patience...

It's been 4 years...This is a very good person,but there are a few issues I am at a loss on how to handle! I'm currently in the process of waiting for the good news that things will be done and I can get my life back to "normal". I have once again learned an important lesson the hard way, NEVER to live with others no matter how close friends we are! That situation led me to this one. I dont regret anything, but feel so sad!Now I've also learned that not everyone who is biologically an adult, truly is! Meaning some have to be "out there where its rough" to grow up! Four years and this person hasnt acted like he wants us to move into our own place and be self-sufficient! Interesting how his brother was the same age when he was ready to move out! If it was left up to him, he'd probably live with his mother for the rest of his life, just sitting in his room, online, playing internet videogames, and rarely seeing his close friends! These friends by the way are married on their own, and one has his own family already! So it's not like all his pals are doing what he does! Most are working, and on their own already!I think that due to the fact that I'm "low-maintenance",not a "domestic type", and never was the type of woman to "make demands" in a relationship---that men never took me seriously! I'm starting to realize why so many prefer to remain "single", with either "Friends with benefits", or the occasional "fun time", or have just given up on anything "romantic"...It's a wonderful thing to be in a reasonably harmonious relationship, but seemingly rare that both people are on the same page...Eh I'm not complaining. Just venting quietly in a positive manner!Heh its also interesting how he doesnt seem to take care of his possessions! I was taught from childhood to take care of what I have so it lasts! I've noticed his lack of warbrobe(including any footwear), and how things electronic end up breaking but he "doesnt know why"...Whenever he had some type of job he never bought clothes or footwear. Just gadgets and food, and whatever bills he decided to help his mother with...I hope I can stick things out longer, and not just up and disappear. He's really a nice guy, cooks(although I wonder if he only does it because its the fastest way he'll be able to eat hehehe),and isnt abusive or wild. It's just the few things that bother me so much! I'm far from expecting perfection from anyone! I'm sure things will work themselves out! There is a new year 2011 ahead, and a lot for me to look forward to! Oh and by the way, whats wrong with a few beers in the evening? We had a little argument and that was the thing he could find to pick on? Hey I'm not boozing it with heavy stuff, just some Mike's Hard Punch and some Heineken! This coming from the one who these days never drinks, but has tales of years past where he got caught coming home drunk! Also the first time we hung out, we had went to my firends place and drank Vodka straight from the bottle!Heh he's just jealous because I know how to have fun, go out sometimes, and enjoy my life! He's so repressed and too "laid back", and it makes me wonder....They say "still waters run deep"...Well happy holidays if anyone still reads this! Yeah I've given into the "Facebook Craze"...But this is where I can TRULY vent and "write" my mind...

Hmmm I think my best friends would say I'm still the same. I just dont get to go clubbing as much as I used to. I think they'd also say I'm a little calmer now since I've been with my husband! I dont mind staying home as much now that I'm happy to be there! So I guess I'd still be mostly the same!

A person stating outright that they dont want to work because they dont want to put up with asshole managers!Now this person has been unemployed since 2008!They claim its difficult to get a job,yet theyre not skilled in any major field(computer work,business work,etc.)that would take time to get situated and well paid in!For example this person hasnt even applied for basic retail work,on a regular basis!They will put in a few applications, then give up and not keep at it! Well its the mothers fault to an extent!If P. was suddenly without mommy to live with for free(many adult kids pay bills with their parents,so living at home is no excuse to be lazy),the rest of the family wouldnt be so lenient!And what if this person had kids?Not going to feed your kid because you dont want to work because of bad experiences with managers?Well I told this person I've had bad experiences with managers,co-workers,customers,and sometimes all at the same time!!!I've worked about 20 years(from 17 until now 37)!I've not lived with my family since I moved out at 19 years old!My entire work life I've only been unemployed a total of THREE months,and that wasnt consecutive!I've dealt with some situations that made me cry and feel so depressed,yet I've kept the struggle of daily living!Now I understand if someone has mental or physical illness that prevents them from working for at least a living wage!But the people who have BARELY done for themselves,and act like they are entitled I have no respect for! Now I'm not talking about rich or well to do people! This situation is among poor barely making ends meet folk!The mom gets SSI and she is lucky enough for Section 8 to help!She is definitely disabled, but has worked most of her life before the disability became worse!So she's earned the right to not have to work!The person in question is under 25,barely any work experience,no GED or high school diploma,has internet access meaning can do many applications daily,is a male who can do even the hard work females cant do,yet plays videogames all afternoon after sleeping all morning...So makes me wonder,is most of this generation doomed to be a bunch of lazy fucks?Does life have to kick certain people in the ass BIG TIME for them to grow up? Or are some born to be stupid,yet arent mentally retarded?

Well they would have to be men and women that I think are hot and of course goth/metal/or rivet types!!!...Theyd have to have money...And their purpose would be to never let me stay sad/hurt/depressed, bored/no motivation, or feel unloved!

I'd be a spoiled cat...Preferrably pure bred Russian Blue or Siamese...Why? I want to have someone spoil me,brag about me and show me off in cat shows where I make it worth their time, and treat me better than many humans...Sometimes pets get far better treatment than humans do!

Ok i'm not totally "anti-social", but sometimes I find that when I'm not in the mood to senselessly yap, there's always someone around who is!!!!! UGH!!! In the past folks have said I"talk too much", and sometimes these days I judge from some folks i deal with now that maybe they had a point at times. Now when i get buzzed and happy, i do blather a bit these days. But at least most of the time I dont go ona dn on like i'd drop dead from being quiet!!!! Also I feel very agitated when foks act like they cant do things themselves!!! We all should at least a few times in our lives contemplate "what if i'm disabled, and have to live on my own"? How much can you do yourself and how much would you not be able to do depending on your disability???

Also children, remember that when you become an adult it is ok to have your own life!!!! Parents who were good to you, do deserve respect, but they and you must realize that a child should have his or her own life too as an adult!!! As in parents should have their own social circle and life, and not expect most things to fall on their children!!!
Just had to vent based on a few things going on.

Safe journeys and be well everyone!!!