| Ugh. |
[Apr. 10th, 2015|02:53 pm]
TMI!
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So last weekend I was dead to the world and my dad came in to wake me up for our usual Saturday father-daughter shopping excursion. He gave me my breakfast and left, and as I was rolling over all groggy-like, I noticed that my leg felt...wet. And my shorts (I was wearing those super-comfy dude basketball shorts) were wet. Like clinging to my leg wet. I was like "...did I pee and not notice it?" I looked down...
...nope.
I did not pee.
It looked like my lady business had gone on a murdering spree in the night.
I was both disgusted and fascinated. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2014|09:58 am]
TMI!
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Inspired by the dog horror story from yesterday:
( The day my cat explodedCollapse )
Xena came and saw me after she got cleaned up, she was fine after that, very tumbly and affectionate as usual, and she's never done that again, though she still goes into full-blown banshee mode each time she goes in a car. And my mom is hardcore as fuck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2012|06:12 am]
TMI!
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This is probably one of the worst nights of my life...ugh. I work overnights at a fast food restaurant and it was around 4am (about 2 hours ago) and my manager and I took the trash out to the dumpster. I had the trashcan from the prep area and I was pulling it out to toss it into the dumpster. Well I'm short so the side opening to it comes up to boob level on me and the bag was really full and heavy. I was struggling to pull it up and out of the trashcan and suddenly it ripped and clear liquid rushed out and splattered my face and the whole right side of my body. I accidentally swallowed it...
I dropped the trash bag instantly and turned around and started gagging/nearly puking. I was gagging SO hard that I ended up pissing my pants too. So stood there gagging, puking, crying, and laughing all at the same time. My manager was nice enough to let me go home early. I've taken a long hot shower and brushed my teeth three times (and used mouthwash) and I still feel dirty. :| |
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| *facepalm* |
[Feb. 8th, 2012|05:33 pm]
TMI!
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Today, I get up and go to the bathroom. It's orange, and pink around the edges. Huh, maybe I'm dehydrate-- wait. Pink? And it smells funky?
Oh gods I have a stealth UTI that's been brewing for months and my kidneys are shutting down I'm gonna die.
After ten minutes of panicking and sucking down about 24oz of water to make sure the orangeish colour actually is dehydration (so far the jury is out, but hopefully my body is putting all that water to good use), I remember something. Last night, I had baked salmon with mushrooms, cubed beets, and asparagus.
Rather a lot of beets and asparagus, in fact.
Guess what beets are infamous for, boys and girls? That's right, making doctors irritated because they ran a whole bunch of tests and instead find out that their patient is part of the 10-15% of the population affected by beeturia. Also known as pink urine. |
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| Super-tame |
[Jan. 17th, 2012|09:37 pm]
TMI!
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but I totally forgot that beets will turn your urine pink/purple. I was on my third day of eating borscht and about to call a doc before I asked Dr Google.
Hah I thought I had some kind of painless-but-horrible bladder infection going on or something. |
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| I piss excellence |
[Dec. 3rd, 2011|10:23 pm]
TMI!
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I take a prescription migraine medication called Zomig. I love this medication for a few reasons, one being that it makes me pee frequently and urgently. And that sounds super weird so let me elaborate a bit:
Imagine you have a super full bladder. Just one poke here or a little tickle there is all it'd take for it all to come spilling out of you. But, alas! All the bathrooms at your current locale are occupied! So now you're doing the pee-pee dance, the discomfort is rising, panic is setting in, you're eyeing the kitchen sink, trying to figure out the logistics of perching yourself upon it so as to -- Oh, hallelujah! There's finally a free toilet! You make a mad dash, get in, sit down/whip it out and Aahhhhhhhh... <--That feeling, right there? That's what it feels like every time I pee after taking my med. It's orgasmic.
It also makes me feel kinda high, which is cool. It can make what starts as a bad day (waking up with a migraine) into an awesome day (WOOOO MY HEAD IS FLYYYIIING).
Oh, it's great for stopping migraines, too.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2011|10:57 pm]
TMI!
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I'm still embarassed...
I don't experience a lot of TMI moments, so I'm probably still sensitive to them, but I have to share this with someone.
I sleep naked, and today when I woke up I had to pee really bad. So I jump out of bed, only to fall over a bag lying in the doorway to the bathroom, and I ended up hitting my toe on the doorframe. The pain was so sharp and intense I immediatly lost control over my bladder and pissed all over myself.
I still can't believe that happened. <___<' |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2011|01:36 am]
TMI!
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I'm currently on augmentin (antibiotics, basically) for a pain in the ass sinus infection I have, and it's making my piss bright yellow/green. It's awesome. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2011|12:29 am]
TMI!
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| [ | Tags | | | pee, poop | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
Dear Body,
You can poop or you can pee, but you can't do both simultaneously. (I'm not really sure why you can't, since both require just about the same pushing action on my part, but w/e just accept that you can't.) Everytime you insist on trying the impossible, we get caught in a doozy of a catch-22, something along the lines of, "OMFG I NEED TO POOP SO BAD BUT I NEED TO PEE TOO BUT I CAN'T TIL I POOP BUT FIRST I NEED TO PEE OMG WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME WHY PLEASE SAVE ME BABY JESUS."
Please figure out a heirarchy of some sort before the situation arises again so that we may skip the panic and instead simply relish in a job well done.
Sincerely,
Me |
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