NOW IS NOT THE TIME, ASTHMA. NOW IS SO NOT THE TIME.

Seriously. As if my rage-induced insomnia isn't enough, my body has to take the on-the-fritz baton and go gallivanting off into the distance.

UGH. Can't a girl get some PEACE AND MOTHERFUCKING QUIET WITHOUT HER GODDAMN TRACHEA BECOMING A POORLY TUNED STRING QUARTET? Honestly.

If I don't make it through tonight, you guys, it's because I spontaneously combusted. I hear concentrated spite is extremely flammable.

Now where the hell is my codine-laced cough syrup...

You guys. It is 4 in the morning and my allergies are eating my face.

So it's the Uptown Art Fair half a block away from my home... and I should be frantically whipping up canvases and making cards about my Etsy page to hand out... but I am staying far away today.

Why? Well, there are a few reasons.

1. My allergies are insane and I sound like I have emphysema.
   
2. The intermittent sneezing fits really don't help either.
   
3. There was a friggen monsoon this morning and the sky looks like it ain't finished with us yet.
   
4. There are mini donuts and I will not be able to resist.

I still might not be able to resist. I was planning on just eating my greek yogurt, apple, and cheddar cheese for "lunch" at work tonight. Still, I haven't eaten more than a plum and some rice with beans today... so I feel like I should go to the grocery store. However, to get to the grocery store I would have to go past the donuts.

I feel trapped by pastries. I can't wait until they are gone. Don't even get me started on the kettle corn.

I am quarantined for the next 24 hours, and it sucks.

I started getting a sore throat on Sunday night, and it just got worse all day yesterday. Due to the ferocity and lack of other symptoms, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was strep. Well, self-diagnosis correct! Confirmed by my doctor this morning. I don't know that I've ever been more displeased about being right before...

Seriously, you guys. The Doc didn't even swab me. She looked at my tonsils, said "Gah!" and then wrote me a prescription.

Right now I just feel like an idiot for not going to the doctor yesterday when I suspected it in the first place. I thought about it, but told myself to just tough it out and see if it was an allergy-related thing that would go away. Now, I've exposed a bunch of people to a really contagious and unpleasant illness and I feel like an ass.

I'm going to feel really awful if M gets sick. I came home from work and he and I hung out, talked, and looked at a bunch of his old pictures while I sipped whiskey. Shut up. Don't judge me. I'm Irish, it's a remedy of my Grandma's, and it friggen worked.

He just texted me and said that I should rest and that he feels fine. Nothing coming on, and that I shouldn't worry about it. I still feel like a tool.

Despite the guiltfest, it was really nice to be able to sit next to and snuggle with someone when I was feeling so crappy. He asked me to stay the night, so I slept over and I slept really well. Until this morning, when I woke up in a cold sweat and decided that I had definitely pushed my luck too far and needed to be in my own bed, if not at the doctor's office.

Ugh. The pills I have make me really nauseous too. Thank goodness I only have to take them once a day instead of your standard antibiotics. I was really worried about taking them though, because I'm allergic to most antibiotics, and drug allergies are nothing to mess with. Especially when you consider how low my blood pressure usually is. I would not pass go, would not collect $200, and would go straight into anaphalactic shock.

I just don't want to fucking sit inside all day, but going out into public would be irresponsible since I'm still contagious until noon tomorrow. So, I guess it's a day of violent films, old school Nintendo and incessant bitching.

NOSEBLEED HATE. OH MY GOD.

In case you've ever wondered what a barometric pressure migraine looks like, it's something like this:



Holy mother of fuck. Ow.

Leroy is the best husband ever.

I'm sick today -- and there's a blizzard coming -- so I'm home, and this cat has not left my side. Last night, when I was rolling around in barfy agony he was right there, giving me kisses and petting me. The cat was petting my hair.

Every time I have woken up he's been right there, keeping me warm and watching over me. He meows once I wake as if to say, "Are you feeling any better, honey?" Then he showers me with kisses, licking my face, my neck, my arms. I tried to get him to stop and he just started licking my hand. He is on a mission to comfort his human.

It's working.

Lookit the love!

I'm starting to get a little worried about my health again.

I'm never hungry. Lately, the only time I really eat is when I'm at work, and that's because I have a break and that's the sort of thing you typically do on your break. I snack sometimes, but I don't feel hungry more than once a day.

Furthermore, any food I do eat doesn't seem to agree with me. For the second night in a row I feel ill after eating. I just get queasy and feel generally unpleasant.

I have no idea what's going on. Normally when winter sets in my appetite goes through the roof. What gives?

Jesus Christ, today was horrible. Lord, let me count the ways:

1. Bad mood hangover from some of yesterday's "discussions."
   
2. One hour -- maybe -- of sleep.
   
3. Busy, depressing work day. Observe! I wish I was making this stuff up.
   
   1. Baboons burned to death.
      
   2. Teenagers killed in car accidents thanks to drunk drivers.
      
   3. Babies abducted by sex offending grandfathers.
   
   
4. Still can't sleep!

Thank God for booze, s'all I'm sayin'.

It's been 23 hours since I last slept. I slept about 4 hours last night. I'm currently not tired at all.

Spectacular.