VIctory is to me....
contemplativeThings We Don’t Want To Do
Most of us have had the experience of tackling some dreaded task only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. The funny thing is, most of the time when we do them, we come out on the other side changed and often wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may even begin to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.
Whether we avoid something because it scares us or bores us, or because we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, putting it off only creates obstacles for us. On the other hand, facing the task at hand, no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn't want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.
We all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fueled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it.
DailyOM.com
Being disabled has changed many things for me; made me stronger when I do what I must do despite the pain, given me an all to convenient excuse to be weak, made me think more before doing (great for one who can be waaay too impulsive, and even when I let it hold me back ~ in the end I have learned much about myself.
Having limited Spoons (http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/) creates a need to be aware of what is important to you... This translates into simple things such as, Do I need to vac the floor before my friend comes over or feed the dogs.. to deciding whether a relationship is worth the emotional and mental cost it takes to maintain it...
It is no surprise to me that many of our greatest creative minds have been contained within bodies or brains that society has deemed to be less than perfect. A superficial life is not possible when every act is an effort and when you tend to see the world through eyes and a heart that see deeper than the average person. In turn ~ all is felt at a higher "pitch". By this I mean that the intensity of thoughts and feelings are usually much larger and stronger than seems to be acceptable in general society.
I have learned to temper negative emotions and actions as they cost WAY too many spoons in my life! To hate is to give away these spoons when I could be using them to love or care for myself or others. Even getting angry can be at too great a cost and I have found that most folks who illicit anger within my life - are not worth the spoons in the first place. Only when paying this cost would motivate me to change when necessary, is it ever worth the price.
So, as I choose my battles, I claim my victorys ~ today I lit a fire to keep warm, fed the animals, gathered items for a craft project, and spent some time listening to my Gods... If I were to die in an hour, I would not regret the dirty floor, the pile of laundry to fold, or the dust on the shelves. I claim this victory and vow to reach further as my energy replenishes itself.
