Just so I never forget...
mood: 
frustrated
frustratedThis too is important to me... I had a vision - one that I can recall the feel of the air, the taste in my mouth and the very smells around me...
It was of a small native girl, bedraggled and dirt,y that was walking through an old looking general store (the kind with a wooden porch and a long counter inside ~ tall shelves...)
She took a canned ham and tried to leave with it... I was in an observer state of being ~ not a part of the scene although I was there.
After the girl was admonished and sent out of the store, I appeared to her ~ wanting to help her, as she looked hungry. She turned and looked deep into my eyes and said "you MUST feed the grandmother" ~ this statement seemed to me to be SO profound and huge! Her eyes were a million years old.... I wondered within my mind what she meant ~ and suddenly the vision changed to a modern tidy little home in a dusty plains area.
There was a Kitchen that you walked directly into from the side door ~ it was filled with ladies ~ Native women ~ all in modern clothes ~ unloading groceries for a baby shower... They were gabbing about mundane things and acting like a standard all American scene...
In the living room, on a couch, sat Two elders ~ a old man and an old woman ~ in native dress ~ late 1800's or early 1900's style ~ Calico and such.... They sat together, expressionless, on the couch in front of a picture window that looked off into the empty plains. I can still see the sheers and drapes pulled back from the window on either side and the closed front door to the left of their view...
Once again, I was an observer ~ but there... I was pulled to the elders by the calm and sadness they exuded. I came up behind the couch and walked off to the left to see them closer. The man sat, as did the woman, with his hands almost lifeless in his lap. But as I entered the woman's side view, she turned her head slightly and I fell into her eyes... Such sadness! No bitterness, just a soul deep ache and loss.! I also sensed a challenge there on the surface ~
Once again, I heard the little girl's voice say to me :You must feed the grandmother" ~ with a sense of impatience and strength.
I looked up at the ladies in the kitchen ~ which was open to the living room by a counter, and the feeling came to me that they were so wrapped up in their modern goings on, that they had no respect for the elders or their needs. That the distance between them was growing, and I watched as it literally became so - they faded back and away - leaving these two wise ones alone staring out at a desolate plain...
Years later… this was given to me
While fading back into awareness from a dream like state, I found myself fragmenting again and had to concentrate on grounding. I began to see my feet planted firmly on the ground and rooting down into the soil of the earth. I then focused the extra energy I felt coursing through me into the earth. As I did I saw the little native girl from my older visions. She was no longer thin or dirty, I saw her "blossom" before my eyes! Her hair was soft and bouncy, she appeared to be at the peak of becoming a woman, very young but healthy and alive! She had the most beautiful and amazing smile - she GLOWED with it! I suddenly realized that I WAS "FEEDING THE GRANDMOTHER" !!
As the knowledge began to come clear to me of what she had been telling me so long ago, she started to change... she became stronger and more beautiful right in front of my eyes! She reached her arms out and up to the sky and became a tree! A wonderful = strong young tree and as I watched, leaves sprouted and came to be all over her!! I was FILLED with the most indescribable joy - happiness - ? - that I have ever felt! It was like hot chocolate and marshmallows on a snowy morning, a child at my breast, the moments after making love, chocolate melting on my tongue, all at the same time!!
I knew then ~ I REALLY KNEW ~ what the message was! We are a part of the earth... we have been takers and users and have forgotten the beautiful things she gives us! She needs us! NEEDS us! we are a PART of Gaia! As much as the soil and the rocks and trees. When we give our energy back into the earth through grounding, meditation, respect to the earth, we are FEEDING THE GRANDMOTHER ~ from where we came...Our Source... The Christians believe their God made man from the soil and breathed life into him... it seems most systems of beliefs have humans coming from the basic stuff of the earth itself.. I think we have forgotten who we are!
